You came into my life unexpectedly. I wasn’t ready, and I am scared. I am too depressed to face the consequences. I am afraid that I might lose you. For nine months you were in my womb, and our journey is not easy. We went to place to be away from all the criticism. Till the time comes that you need to see the world. I was scared, but you are also my strength. When I held you for the first time. I can’t explain how I felt. Joy because I can you hold and sadness because an ideal family that I could never give you. Every day I would talk to you that this journey is just the two of us. And this ride is not an easy one. Every day seeing you grow as a happy a child give me a fulfillment. I never experience tantrums in the morning and late night. You are so sweet and cuddly. You bring joy to your grandparents, aunts and uncles. I am excited for the first Christmas and New Year that we spend together all our cousins were crazy about you. But you wouldn’t want to be far away from me. We would go the mall almost every weekend just strolling around. And tickling you are what enjoyed most.
Oh, my little prince, we might not be living in a castle, but we will build our castle together. I will be there for you. To push you to do what you want and never to be scared to face challenges. You always make Nanay proud. You are the one being picked to be one of the models of the magazine in school to publish nationwide. And I am so happy that I can’t explain the feeling.
I would talk to you about our situation that this will be crazy journey just the two of us. I asked for your help. That you are my partner and we will never leave each other side. You are a great kid. Though sometimes you do naughty things. You are satisfied that I am the only one besides you.
You met your father face to face when you were three years old. To Lola’s and Lolo’s help you grew up without hatred. I got jealous because you would spend your time with him. I am also scared that he will get you from me. Our situation is unconventional. You had fun with your father. You enjoyed your time with him. You would spend the day with him, yet at the end of the day, you cuddle with me and tell me “ Nanay I love you”. And I’m starting to explain to you that Tatay and Nanay are just friends but still we are family. And you slowly understood it.
It wasn’t easy for me, but you made things calm son. You make the situation like a simple one. You are my strength I will be gone crazy if I lost you. Son, be thankful for each blessing you received in life. I am genuinely sorry for I can’t give you the family that you deserved. Maybe God gave to us for some reason we might not see it right now. But I am sure this situation is intended us to be pleasant and grateful.
My only request and prayer for you. Do not repeat the situation that happened to us. Be a man enough to face if you will be in this situation. Be a father to son and give him the family he deserved. Find a woman who will love for who you are and will bring you near to God. Be a good father and be present always in your child's life. Not just financially, but also emotionally and morally. Guide him to be a better person who will fear God.
Lastly, my little prince, I am proud of you and Nanay love’s you so much. You are the most beautiful gift God gave me. A precious jewel that I am proud to show off to everybody.
